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MENTAL WELLNESS

STRESS IN MARRIAGE

 

Depression & Stress in Marriage

It is no news to married couples, that building a life with another brings a whole new perspective. Getting together with someone up to about age 30 is far easier to meld together life plans. By the time one hits 40, you are very clear about what you want and don’t want in your life, and finding a life partner can be a lot more difficult. By this age, our “perfect partner” list has also been pretty well refined, so expectations placed on each other may be a little unrealistic, leading to added stress, disappointment and a sense of failure.

We need to understand that any major change in life is accompanied by a loss of the previous status quo. This can be quite stressful for many, whether they recognise this as the cause or not. We often expect too much from ourselves, and don’t give ourselves sufficient time to adapt to our new life situation. We also often expect too much from of our spouse. Although any relationship aims to meet the needs of the other party, they are not responsible for our happiness, and we are not responsible for theirs. In an effort to make them happy, we can ignore our own right to happiness, and feel like we have failed to fulfil our spouse’s needs and unfulfilled in our own. This too can lead to feelings of self doubt and depression.

 

Depression in Marriage

Depression can be the cause or result of any disruption in marriage, whether this stems from parenting issues, financial stress, unresolved anger, and lack of forgiveness. Close relationships that are not respectful of individual rights can lead to a sense of loss of ones identity and loss of control over ones life. This leads to lack of self worth, hopelessness and eventually depression.

It is easy to become disassociated with common goals of a marriage, made in earlier days. When one spouse changes in any way, the other either needs to adapt to find a new cohesion or a gap exists between the life paths of the two individuals. When this path becomes sufficiently wide, if no action is taken to realign, one partner will generally become disassociated from the relationship. This loss of sense of connection can result in “living together loneliness” and depression.

 

Stress in Marriage

Unhappiness occurs when our expectations of ourselves or others are not met
Stress occurs when we feel out of control in meeting our own expectations.

Stress in Marriage has been proven to affect health. The stress of disharmony in any relationship slows the production of a blood protein key to healing wounds. In a study by Ohio State University, “couples who demonstrated consistently higher levels of hostile behaviours…healed at 60 per cent the rate of low-hostile couples”.

Conflict in any relationship is inevitable and healthy. Stress occurs when the conflict is not well managed. This takes a certain amount of skill, and there are many resources on the Internet that provide guidance in this area. A few examples are:

About.com Relationships

This site includes very useful articles such as:

Keep Reading :

 

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